I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
