sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
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