dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
