shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
