New invention idea: vibrating tampons
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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