i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
