Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
