it's not cheating when I paid for it
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
