you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
