Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
