It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
