Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
