The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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