I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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