Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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