I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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