I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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