u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
