I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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