Already got asked if we're dating
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
