Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
