we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
