I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
