last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
