I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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