His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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