Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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