I like to think it a success when the cops are called
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
