i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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