4 words: hood of his car
I just gift wrapped bread.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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