So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
