If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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