honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
