I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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