A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
