it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
