it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
