This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
