Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
