now i know why i became what i already was.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
