Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
