look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
