STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
