I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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