I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
