I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
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