Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
tequila makes me forget i have legs
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
