If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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