Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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