My brain says no but my pants say off.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
