Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize