Is it because I queefed?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
