I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
