Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
