Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
