she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
