the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
