Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
