yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
