I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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