No awkward lesbian experiences without me
im six kinds of drunk right now
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
